Crossing Paths #2 - Recurring Nightmares
by Selina
Summary: Tension begins to rise and the results may be dangerous...


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Let me remind those of you who are reading that I have never even laid eyes on the cover of an Animorphs book, much less read one... This is based on the TV show. Keep that in mind while you read this fic... and any others I may come to write... Also, if you just die every time something or someone gets between Tobias and Rachel, don't read this!! I said don't read it!! Fine, if you insist, but don't complain afterwards... Once again: I HAVE NEVER READ ANY OF THE BOOKS!!!!

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Oh, yeah; one more thing... *sees everyone skip the paragraph, but goes on anyway* I'd like to thank Gweneth for putting up with endless hours of nonsense rambling until I could finally define what I wanted; and Ruby, for helping me along and being harsh (which I still think she wasn't) and Ambrosius, for making me see things that in a different light. Ok, now I'm done...

Crossing Paths #2

Recurring Nightmares

Tobias

"Man, look at the time, I've gotta get home." - Marco complained 

Jake looked at his watch and nodded - "I've gotta go too. Bye, see you tomorrow Cassie. Bye, guys."

They both left, Jake saying that something was going on with Tom and that he was hoping Tom wasn't planning to drag him to the Sharing. Ax, Alyssa and I morphed birds and went into the woods. We were all going to split up and go our separate ways, but Alyssa asked if I could stay at the shack for a while and talk with her. I felt kind of uncomfortable because of the kiss and all, but I guess she felt like talking to someone. We got in and demorphed or in my case, morphed. I spread out one of the blankets and sat on the floor, she sat on one of the boxes, and spoke first

"Did you hear the way Jake talks about Tom? It's like he's already used to it all. It's like all of you are so... so... it's like it's all ok and you're all just friends hanging out..."

"Well... how did you act, before all this?"

She thought for a while and smiled - "Alright, you got me. I guess I acted pretty normal too. But then again I didn't have a Controller living in my house and talking to me every day."

"I know Jake took it pretty hard at first... I think he still does, we all do. We just keep it together because it's the only thing we can do."

"I think I'd freak if I saw that anyone in my family was a Controller."

I don't know if I was trying to make her feel better or worst, but the question came out anyway: 

"Do you think your mother is a Controller? You said you weren't sure what they did with her."

She seemed thoughtful, as if she was considering what I had just said. She shook her head

"I don't know... I tried not to think much about any of them with the yeerk in my mind. I don't know if the cops ever found her body or if she went back home as a Controller... but in that case, why didn't I go back as well? I don't know... Sarah and I must have been listed as missing. And in the time I was a Controller I never saw my mother. She wouldn't even have to be in this city. She could be anywhere... and she could be dead." - I noticed how she said the last part, almost wishing it 

"What would you do if she was a Controller?"

She gave me a strange look and the way her eyes widened, it a made a chill go up my spine. Her face quickly regained its previous calm expression and she shrugged, looking at her own feet, while hitting them against the side of the box

"I guess I'd do the natural thing, I'd try to free her..."

Her voice lowered itself to a whisper and I couldn't hear the last part of what she said, not that I think she meant it for me to hear. She was silent, just watching her feet go back and forth, suddenly they started to hit the box harder and harder, faster and faster, she clutched her hands in fists and closed her eyes hard, while still swinging her feet against the side of the box. She opened her eyes and they were filled with tears. She looked at me and started to cry

"Why didn't I die? Why did it have to be them? Why couldn't I do something?"

I didn't have an answer, and even if I did, I hardly think she would have accepted it. I got up slowly and sat next to her, opening her hands. I looked at them and saw the nail marks on her palms. I started rubbing them as if it would make them vanish. She stopped kicking the box and calmed down. She looked at me, the tears were gone, but the sadness was still there. She looked down at her hands, which I then realized that I was still holding in mine. I immediately let go and sort of looked away a bit embarrassed, hoping she wouldn't notice, no such luck. She looked at the wall opposite to us and sighed

"Tobias, about that kiss... I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable every time you're around me... I..."

"No, I'm sorry... I shouldn't have... you know... you weren't thinking straight, you were upset, confused..."

She laughed and shoved me slightly with her shoulder - "Hey! Don't tell me how I was feeling. I kissed you because I wanted to, that's why. And because... well... I... I like you... a lot." - she turned away and gave a nervous laugh, whispering - "And I cannot believe I just said that."

I smiled to myself thinking that my face must have been fully red - "Said what?" - I asked, wondering if maybe I was just hearing things 

She turned to face me serious for a moment, then smiled - "Don't play games... did you hear what I said or not?"

I looked into her eyes. I couldn't make out what she wanted to hear, whether or not she regretted what she said, so I just went with the truth and nodded. I grabbed some courage and before any common sense could tell me otherwise, I cupped my hand under her chin and leaned in to kiss her, I saw her hesitate for a moment, then everything went crazy. Our lips met and I got the strangest feeling, something deep within me, something telling me that this felt right, it felt like it was meant to happen, then suddenly we both pulled away at the same time.

***

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A few days later

Jake

I set up a meeting in Cassie's barn after school. I had told Marco and Cassie to go ahead because I needed to stop by my house first. When I got at the barn, they were already there talking with Ax who was in human morph. 

"Hey, what you guys talking about?" - I asked

"Hello, Prince Jake. We were discussing ing guh the new member Alyssa." - Ax of course

"Yeah, what d' you think about her?" - Marco asked in an 'as a matter of fact' tone

"She seems nice and all. We've only known her a week but I think we can trust her." 

"Prince Jake, why is Rachel not comfortable around Alyssa?" - Ax asked - "She doesn't trust her."

"Ax, don't call me Prince." - I ignored the question, but Marco didn't miss the opportunity

"Maybe she's jealous..." - he teased and/or implied

"Marco!" - Cassie reprimanded 

She gave him a look, but it didn't compare with the one Rachel would have given him if she were there. And I think Rachel's would have been accompanied by a punch or something that would leave Marco begging for mercy. Meanwhile, Marco just laughed and looked at Cassie and the rest of us - "What?" - I limited myself to rolling my eyes, while Ax looked puzzled

"Jealous?... Of what?" - he asked

Cassie simply ignored him and looked at us - "Ah, c'mon guys, Rachel wouldn't..." 

"I wouldn't what?" - Cassie turned to face Rachel, not actually willing to finish her sentence. Marco came to her rescue, but he was still laughing

"Turn down a suicidal mission" - he smiled and she rolled her eyes, not knowing the real reason he had said that

"So... Jake, why did you call us all here?" - Cassie beautifully changed the subject

"Maybe he just wanted to enjoy our company..." - Marco joked

I looked around the barn - "We're missing two..."

We're here - I heard Tobias' thought-speak as two hawks flew in

One of them landed on the floor and began to demorph revealing Alyssa. She was taking her time with the morphing, but I guess there was no hurry; no Controllers after her, no one trying to trap her, so she could afford to slow down. I counted about 22 seconds for her to demorph, still faster than Cassie, but she had been doing this since she was a little girl. I looked at her, she had changed a lot in this past week. When we met her she was a mixture of frightened, confused, desperate and brave, fearless, willing to fight us and maybe die. But now, we could hear her laugh and joke around, almost like she was a different person, but I knew better. I knew we were all like that, we each changed according to the circumstances, we changed from the group of kids just having a good time to the only thing standing between our planet and complete invasion. Now let me just say that there could be no greater contrast. I had seen it in them and I had seen it in myself. Alyssa demorphed and stood on a corner. I waited for my friends to quiet down then began with what I had brought them here to listen

"I've mentioned that Tom has changed his routine these last few days, he left the house saying he was going to the sharing but I didn't think he was. So last night I followed him, he went into this abandoned building at the corner of ________ and _______"

Marco cut in - "That's kind of a deserted area, right? They started building but I can't remember why they stopped..."

"I remember, there was some big legal fight over the terrain... Who won anyway?" - Rachel asked

I shrugged, I barely remembered the whole thing, there were these people fighting over who had the right to build what where, and the constructions were delayed and eventually stopped because of a lack of interest in the area, I'm guessing. 

Cassie looked thoughtful for a moment - "But they did finish the building... I passed by there at least once and it was finished..."

"What do you think it is? Another Kandrona?" - Rachel asked

We should check it out. - Tobias said 

"When?" - Cassie asked

"How about tonight?" - I suggested 

"As good a time as any" - I heard Rachel say while staring defiantly at Marco

"Aw man, does this mean I'm gonna lose the only time of the day I can try and fall asleep without any teachers hounding me about it? Not fair!" - Marco (who else?) whined

"If no one has any REAL objection..." - I glanced at Marco for a second - "...we go tonight. Everyone meet here at 2:00am sharp. Get as much sleep or rest as you can this afternoon, we don't want anyone snoring."

They all began to leave. I went over to Alyssa, who had been quietly listening to us in a corner. I tried to make the look on my face as serious as possible, but she smiled at me. I tried not to seem rude 

"Alyssa, have you ever been down to the yeerk pool?" - as soon as I asked it, I realized how stupid the question was, she laughed to herself, but seemed to understand what I had meant to say

"You mean, before I was made into a Controller? You want to know if I ever fought?" - she asked

I nodded 

She continued - "No, I had never gone to the yeerk pool before, my father didn't want us involved. He gave us the means to defend ourselves, but he didn't want us going into the fight"

I couldn't hold back my surprise - "Not get involved? You mean you and your sister never did anything to try and slow down the yeerks?"

"I didn't, but I'm not so sure about Sarah. I remember her coming home one day, she looked almost dead on her feet, totally drained. She wouldn't tell me what she'd done, but I guess in some level I suspected she had gone to do something she wasn't supposed to. My father suspected it too, they had a huge fight that day, it was about two years ago. I think she did fight, but I don't know. And if she did, I can't even be sure if she ever tried it again or not. I think she didn't, but we never talked about it"

"Do you think you're up to it? Going with us tonight?"

She nodded, but I could tell she wasn't entirely sure of the answer. That was the first time I doubted the choice we had made of bringing her into the Animorphs. Tobias and Ax said they would help Alyssa acquire some animals. I told them not to get any extremely dangerous animal, we were still a bit weary about her and if she turned on us, she'd be easier to contain. I went home and tried to get some sleep. Sure it was early, but I couldn't exactly wait till later. Later I'd be going on another mission, and if I was lucky, my friends would come out of it unharmed and I wouldn't get killed or caught. Sometimes it feels as if they were my responsibility, as if anything happened it would be my fault. I think it's due to the fact that they look at me as their leader. I can't say I enjoy it, but it makes them all feel better, so why bother arguing, I wouldn't wish this to any of them. Going to sleep thinking that one wrong word at the wrong time could cost someone their life. And that's what I did, I fell asleep wondering if we were all going to survive this war, while my mind played around with the answer and found yet another way to turn it into a nightmare. Always different, but always the same...

***

Tobias

I must have gotten to Cassie's barn early, because only Cassie herself was there. She had a worried look on her face, but she tried to hide it when she saw me. I perched on my usual spot to wait for the others

Hey Cassie, what time is it? 

"It's 1:45. Couldn't sleep much either huh? Tobias, can I ask you something?" - I didn't like her tone, like the one you use when you're trailing into dangerous ground

Sure, fire away.

"What's wrong with Rachel? She's been acting weird lately, especially around Alyssa..."

What'd she tell you? 

"Not much... She's been this way ever since she went back to get her stuff that third night."

I knew where this was going. Good thing I was a hawk or my human face would have shown some emotion. I started to think of something to say when two owls flew in and started demorphing into Jake and Marco

"Hey, where's everybody else?" - Marco asked as soon as he was done with the changes

With the new arrivals, which I was very grateful to due to the interruptions, Cassie was forced to leave the other matter on hold

"Hum... Rachel's on her way, and Ax must be too." - she said hesitantly

Jake tossed Cassie and I a funny look and whispered to Cassie - "Am I interrupting something?" 

Marco didn't exactly give him the chance to get an answer - "Where's Alyssa? Wasn't she supposed to be with you, bird-boy?"

She went with Ax. 

"You sure that was a great idea? She didn't exactly get of on the right foot with him, same goes for Rach."

Well, if only one of them gets here, I guess we can be fairly sure of what happened and start searching for the body. - I said, sounding more serious than I should have. Marco laughed anyway

At that moment, three owls came flying in, two of them landed to demorph into human girls, the third into an andalite. Jake looked at us, checking us over to see if we were all up for it. His gaze settled on Alyssa the longest, 

"Are you sure you want to go through with this?" - he asked her

"I want to go, I need to" - her voice was calm and confident, but she had her back to me and I could see her fingers dancing nervously out of everyone else's sight. Jake nodded and advised 

"If anything goes wrong, you get out as soon as you can. Whoever is the nearest can cover you, alright?"

She nodded with a slight smile

He turned to the rest of us - "Everyone ready?"

"No" - Marco muttered under his breath, Jake just ignored him

They all morphed birds, I already had wings, but night flying isn't that fun so I morphed an owl, and we headed towards the abandoned building Jake had told us about. Even though I hardly doubt there was anybody paying attention to birds at this time of night (or morning, depending how you see it), we tried to keep as inconspicuous as possible for a bunch of birds all flying in the same direction in the dead of night. We landed in a small alley across the street from the building and the others demorphed behind cardboard boxes and trashcans. 

"Ok, we rest for a few minutes then Rachel morphs cat and takes me across the street." - Jake said calmly

"As what, a fly?"

"I was thinking more of a flea." - Jake answered

"Fly, flea, big difference... but a fly would be better..." - Marco said.

Jake grinned, but finally agreed - "Anyway... I'll take a look around and see if there's a place for us to demorph."

I can go, I don't need much space to demorph and take a look around. - I volunteered

"No, you keep an eye on the entrance, see if anyone else has insomnia tonight."

"I can't believe this. You guys are actually volunteering to be swatted." - Marco raised his hands to the sky and Rachel shushed him 

"Rach, make sure you look both ways before crossing the street, we wouldn't want Jake to get hurt, now would we?" 

"Oh, thank you so much for your concern, Marco." - she said with fake enthusiasm, we all laughed

After almost ten minutes, Jake started to morph a fly and Rachel concentrated on the cat. When they were finished, the fly crawled in to the cat's ear. Rachel twitched her ear nervously, trying hard not to

HEY! Stop that! I'm getting dizzy in here! - Jake screamed

Sorry, I can't help it. Try not to move so much. 

The cat took off across the narrow street and stopped to lick itself near the door. We all knew that a fly was making its way under the door by now. I looked from one end to the street to the other, no one was around, especially not at this hour. My thoughts were disturbed about half an hour later when I heard Rachel's thought speak and saw a cat coming our way. Both the cat and the fly that left its ear started to demorph. 

The entrance is clear and the place is half empty, just a dozen human Controllers and Hork-Bajir on the ground floor... - Jake became fully human - "There's a room we can demorph in."

"How are we going to get to the other side?" - Cassie asked 

There's not much wind, we could just fly there as flies. - sounded stupid the minute I said it, but the idea was there

"Fly as flies, has a nice ring to it. Fly as flies..." - Marco teased

"Tobias is right. The street is narrow, there's not much wind, we can go as flies." - Jake turned to Alyssa - "You have to acquire a fly."

"Done." - she said simply

"Then here's the plan, we go in and try to come out without them noticing. If this is indeed a new Kandrona, we get this chance to destroy it, anything goes wrong, they're likely to double security and we may not get another shot. Ready?" - Jake asked us

"Let's do it!" - Rachel, of course

"Man, I hate it when she says that." - Marco said to himself. We were all half-way through the morph. I saw him close his eyes and make a face - "Small, urgh."

Let's go. - Jake took off and we followed

We reached the door and went under it quite easily. There were no biofilters like on the entrances to the yeerk pool, so this probably wasn't one of them. Like Jake said, there was no one here, except for a few Controllers. We took off through a long corridor, empty, and got to a flight of stairs. This looked almost too easy. 

***

Jake

I led the others to the room I had mentioned. The inside of the building was nothing like the outside. I had passed by this neighborhood a few times before and it had always seemed to be just that barely finished building, half-way constructed. By looking at it, I hadn't even noticed it had been finished. But on the inside, it was a maze of corridors and doorways. We passed one human Controller in the halls, but they didn't notice us. That was obvious by the fact that none of them were screaming: 'andalite bandits!' and trying to swat us

This way guys, we can demorph in there - I told them as we made a right turn down one of the corridors at the end of the first flight of stairs

Why can't we demorph here? No one's coming - I recognized Alyssa's 'voice', but I think it was the first time I heard her thought-speak

Because of those things in the walls, morphing censors. They would set of an alarm if we morphed here - we came to a large door and went underneath it - We're clear, demorph - I told everyone

"Where are we?" - Alyssa asked curiously looking around the poorly lit room

I have no idea... - my mouth appeared - "... but it serves our needs"

No morphing censors - Ax added

We made our way to what looked like a main hallway. It was empty; we went into one of the rooms and found it full of machines and sort. It looked like they were building a new Kandrona. Ax and I went to a panel and Ax started to try and analyze if it had been finished yet, while the rest of us spread out, keeping a look out for any coming Controllers. Rachel, Marco and Cassie had stayed in the other room in case we needed someone to morph, which we did. Alyssa was right outside in the corridor and Tobias had stayed at the stairs in case anyone came. 

Prince Jake, this Kandrona is not finished yet, but we should destroy it now. Should I morph here? 

"No, call the others. You have to go back and morph" - I whispered

The place was empty, but if any alarm was set off, we would have a fight on our hands. Suddenly, two different thought-speaks came into my head at the same time, one was Ax's who was right by my side

Rachel, get over here. We need to destroy a Kandrona - he said 

The other one was Tobias', he sounded worried or maybe just alert

Someone's coming... I think it's Chapman, hide! Alyssa, get out of the hallway

I discreetly pulled Ax away from the machinery and we ducked behind the first large enough thing that came into sight. It seemed to be a stack of some sort of pipes. Anyway, Chapman came into the room, he was talking to another Controller

"How are the preparations coming along?" - he asked with a smile

"The new Kandrona should be functional in less than two weeks" - the other said proudly

"Good. I have ensured Visser 3 that it would be completed in time. Are the biofilters in place yet? Every precaution is needed with these andalites still running free" - his voice became threatening and he almost sneered the word 'andalites' instead of saying them.

I saw the other Controller weaken in his position a bit - "Ac... actually... it will only be installed in..." - he managed to get only that much out, just Chapman's stare seemed to make him cower

"Incompetence!" - Chapman spat out in anger

"We wi... the machine" - the man pointed to the screen Ax and I had been looking at

"Damn" - I whispered to no one in particular 

"Andalites! I want them found! Tear this place apart if you have to, but I want them captured and brought to me! No one leaves until they're found!" - I heard Chapman shout as he exited the room

I turned to Ax - "Tell the others to morph, never mind the censors, we have to get out"

Morph and make your way to the exit - As he finished the sentence, I heard the alarms sound, but it didn't matter much, I was half-way tiger by then. Ax still tried to trash the Kandrona, but if we waited much longer, we'd get cut off from the entrance. It was smashed up, but I had a feeling it wasn't enough.

Guys, could you like hurry, this place is getting crowded all of a sudden - I heard Marco say

We started to run along the hallway and down the stairs - Wait! Where's Alyssa?

No one answered me for quite a while, then I heard Tobias' thought-speak - She never passed by me in the stairs 

I can't find a place to morph - I heard Alyssa say, but she was no where in sight

We passed one or two Controllers, catching them off guard and knocking them out. Finally, we met up with the rest of them, on the first floor, shots were being fired. I saw that Cassie was to my left, I couldn't see Marco, Ax was right in front of me. I turned around, avoiding dracon beams and saw a lion jumping on and knocking down Chapman. He fell down hard, knocking over the other Controller, the one who was pointing a dracon at Rachel. A hawk was flying above, avoiding the shots, and Cassie was chasing two human Controllers. Ax was getting the doors open and Marco was coming down the stairs

Jake, can't find Alyssa - he said

Where is she? - I asked, but the answer came by itself soon enough.

I heard a scream, not with my ears, but in my head, I turned to see Alyssa on the other side of the hall, being dragged out of a side room by two Controllers towards Chapman, who was getting up and grabbed a dracon. Ax opened the door, I looked back at Alyssa and saw her push one of the Controllers and kick him, he fell and she tried to make a run for it, but the other Controller had her on a tight grip. The man was built like a bouncer, so he was obviously stronger than Alyssa. He started reaching for the dracon she had made him drop, but she kicked it farther away. I searched for options, Rachel was the only one close enough. The others were already making their way to the exit.

They've got Alyssa. Rachel, help her! - I told her in thought speak

But Rachel didn't move, she just stared as the other Controller got up and grabbed Alyssa's other arm. They lifted her off the floor, she was trying to trip them. She rocked her body back and forth and to the sides violently kicking them, almost knocking them off balance, but they were still taking her away and yet still Rachel didn't move. More Controllers started coming from another passage, we had to leave

Rachel, what's wrong? - Cassie asked as she ran past me and started slowing down

Go! Get out! We don't have time for this. Rachel!! - I almost screamed

What's wrong with her? - Marco asked as he threw a Controller against the wall knocking him uncontious and came my way

I started running towards Alyssa when I saw a hawk dive on the strongest Controller. He let go of Alyssa, lifting his hands to his face screaming. Alyssa fell and dragged the other Controller with her. Chapman used the dracon, it missed her barely, I jumped and sort of bounced off him. Alyssa managed to get away and run towards me. Chapman didn't dare try and stop us. Rachel sort of snapped out of it and ran towards the door as we were passing by her. We dodged dracon beams; one scraped my back, but no harm was done. I cleared the way of a few Controllers, human and Hork-Bajir and we ran to the exit like bats straight out of hell, which would describe the scene perfectly, only instead of bats, we were a lion, tiger, wolf, hawk and human, and instead of hell... well... not much difference there. The others had already cleared the way from the door to the outer exit. 

As soon as we got as far away from the place as possible, making sure we weren't followed, we went into the woods and morphed owls behind bushes and trees. We all had a few minor injuries and bruises, nothing life threatening. We flew towards Cassie's in silence. I was still trying to figure out what had happened, I looked over at my friends; Cassie kept looking at Rachel while Rachel seemed to simply ignore all of us; Tobias flew way behind; Marco and Ax had gone by another way, too many birds together, not that anyone would be watching at this hour; Alyssa was flying far to my right, she seemed in a state of shock or something, when we stopped to morph, she kept mumbling a few words to herself while staring blankly into space, the morph just seemed to happen, like she wasn't even paying attention. I kept wondering what was going on in her mind, what was going on in everyone else's mind. The one thing I could be sure of was that Alyssa was not alright. She'd handled herself well, but it hadn't been enough and I think she had been really affected by what happened. Maybe we should have waited before taking her on a mission with us, maybe we shouldn't have taken her at all. And Rachel, what was she thinking? Hadn't she heard me? Hadn't she seen Alyssa? I had never seen Rachel hesitate, not like that... something was definitely going on, I just wasn't sure what.

We went into the barn and started demorphing, Ax was morphing human and so was Tobias. Alyssa sat down in the corner, always aside from us. Cassie looked at an almost completely human Rachel with a worried look on her face

"Rachel, what happened back there?" - she asked in the kindest tone possible

Rachel didn't say anything, she restricted herself to looking at Cassie and tossing a glance over to the corner where Alyssa still stared at nothing, her face blank. Another voice caught me by surprise

"Why'd you freeze Rachel? Why didn't you help her?" - a human Tobias asked her

He wasn't mad, but his voice was anything but kind and sympathetic. Rachel looked at him for a moment, as if she were about to say something, she half opened her mouth, then closed it again. Tobias didn't take it any further, he merely walked over to where Cassie was trying to talk to Alyssa and whispered something to her. She looked at him for a moment and he said something else, I knew she was talking to him, that made me feel a little better, not enough though. I honestly thought Alyssa was in a state of shock, she obviously wasn't hysterical. Her eyes weren't calm, they were just fixated on something only she seemed to observe, she only motioned them to look at Tobias or at the ground; her hands were trembling almost imperceptibly, but I still noticed. She looked like she did the first night we met her. Tobias and Cassie tried to talk to her

"Everything is fine, we got out. We're safe" - Cassie tried to tell her

Alyssa looked up at her - "Don't you see? They had me again... He saw me! He might know who I am!"

"You can't be sure of that. You didn't compromise us. What happened was not your fault!" - Tobias was kneeled down next to her, he turned her head so she'd look at him

She seemed to calm down, it really hadn't been her fault. I had told her that if we had to make a run for it, we'd help her out, we didn't... not at first, anyway. At that moment, I grabbed Rachel's arm more forcefully than I had intended to

"Why didn't you help her?" - I asked, no, I demanded

She released herself from my grip, looking me in the eyes. I looked into hers and what I found, I didn't understand. I had never seen it there before. She said nothing, she just turned away and left.

***

Rachel

It was almost 5:00am when I morphed owl and flew home. I couldn't stay there at the barn, the others kept asking me why I hadn't helped Alyssa, why I'd frozen... I didn't answer them, I couldn't answer them. I wasn't sure myself I knew the real reason, it was buried somewhere in my subconscious and I was almost afraid to dig it out. I got to my house and went in through the window I had left open. After a while, I found myself laying on my bed, thinking. I closed my eyes not exactly willing to sleep. I thought about that night and I wondered why I hadn't helped Alyssa. I tried to trick myself, saying that I thought she could have handled it or that I wasn't that close by, but it didn't work. Deep down, I knew the truth, the horrible truth I would never tell another living soul... It was cruel, I admit it, and it could have been deadly, for all of us. It could be described as stupid and thoughtless, but for what it's worth, I wish I could go back and change it. I didn't like her and I didn't trust her. All she was doing the hole time was deceiving us, but I still wish I could go back. Seeing the blank expression on her face, the disapproval on Jake's, or was it disappointment? And Tobias, I had never seen him look at me with such cold eyes. I started to fall asleep, but his eyes kept haunting me, asking for an explanation that not even in my mind I dared give.

I opened my eyes, the alarm clock read 5:27, I felt something calling me to the woods. Anything to try and get those piercing eyes from looking into my soul. I morphed and flew towards the shack. As soon as I got there I realized it was empty, maybe they were still at Cassie's. I arrived at the barn and flew in, Tobias was asleep, there was no sign of the others or Alyssa. I demorphed and walked up to him

"Tobias, wake up. I've gotta talk to you"

Huh? Rachel... what are you doing here? - He asked sleepily 

"It's about tonight... I'm sorry, I shouldn't have frozen... I should have helped Alyssa. She wasn't far away. I could have gotten to her before any of the others."

"No, it's ok. You did the right thing" - I heard a voice behind me say

I whirled around startled and found myself looking at Alyssa. Strangely enough, she was smiling at me - "I'm so sorry"- I whispered softly, letting my face show that I meant it. She smiled even more. I felt a hand rest on my shoulder and turned to face Tobias

"Don't be sorry, it all turned out perfect." - a human Tobias said

Perfect for us, that is... 

I recognized the thought speak and turned around. To my surprise and horror, there was Visser 3 standing at the entrance to the barn, a tiger and a wolf at his side. I didn't understand...

"Don't try to morph. Just behave yourself and we won't harm you... not that my host would object to that" - Alyssa said with a smug smile on her face

Before I could react, Tobias grabbed me from behind and twisted my arm - "You see, we were on our way to an infestation, when the alarm sounded... I guess you could just call it luck. You took so long to get her free that we were able to infest her." - he said while I could just imagine the real Tobias scream and struggle inside his own mind

Marco and Ax came into the picture, Ax was in his human morph. He helped hold me in place while Marco opened up a small container I was certain had a yeerk inside. Visser 3 came closer

Who would have guessed that the andalite bandits would turn out to be nothing more than kids - he laughed - Well, at least now not only will the invasion proceed smoothly, but I have just found more morph capable bodies. All thanks to you. 

Tobias pulled me closer and whispered in my ear as I saw Marco open the container - "Why didn't you help her, Rachel?" - he mocked how the real Tobias would have said it

He just laughed as I struggled against their grip. They held my head in place and Marco brought the yeerk up to my ear. All I could do was close my eyes and scream as I felt the slimy thing make contact with my skin...

"Rachel!" 

I opened my eyes and looked up at my little sister's sleepy face. I tried to give her a comforting smile, but she still looked worried - "Rachel, you were having a nightmare."

I smiled for real and rubbed my eyes - "Just a nightmare." - I whispered in relief

I sat up in my bed. I was still home, in my room, in my bed, the sun hadn't even come up yet. I looked at the clock, it showed 5:27am. My heart skipped a beat, and my mind kept on saying; 'it was just a dream, nothing more... just a dream'

"Do you want me to stay here?" - Sara asked, yawning

"No thanks, go back to bed, I'm ok. Think I'll sleep in today." 

She started to close the door, but stopped and turned back to me - "What were you dreaming about?"

I shrugged - "Can't remember, monsters, I think."

I lied and she nodded. She closed the door leaving me alone with the remainders of my nightmare. I tucked some pillows under the covers and changed my clothes in a hurry. Then I opened the window and concentrated on the owl. I felt the changes occur; my sight and hearing enhanced, I shrank... A few moments later, an owl flew out my window heading for the woods. I pondered whether I should go first to Cassie's barn or the shack. Just to prove my nightmare wrong, I decided on going to the shack. I landed on a tree right outside, making only the slightest noise necessary. I could hear their voices inside. If I were human, I would have let out a sigh and smiled. I felt silly for even considering that my nightmare could have been something other than what it truly was, just a nightmare

***

Alyssa

We had gone to the shack, afraid that Cassie's parents might wake up and find us. Jake knew he could stay out until about ten o'clock without being discovered, Marco and Cassie had told their parents they were sleeping over at friends' houses. I was sitting on top of one of the boxes, Tobias was sitting right next to me and Cassie was standing in front of me. I think they were saying something, but my thoughts were running wild. They kept taking me back to that building, back to the Controllers. I had lost it, as soon as the Controllers started dragging me towards Chapman, I lost it, I could have acquired them and used that to escape, but at the time, I couldn't think, my heart was racing, my mind just kept losing focus. All I could think about was that they knew who I was and now they knew that their 'andalite bandits' had human companions. If the yeerks put it all together, they would soon conclude that we were all humans. 

I focused my gaze on Jake, he was talking to Ax and Marco, and they were all throwing me some glances; I wasn't liking it. They must have thought I was in shock or something like that; meanwhile, Cassie was asking me in the sweetest voice ever if I was listening to her. I ignored the question and just went on staring directly ahead, which was where Jake and the others were talking, by the way. I wanted to know what they were saying about me, I knew that if I just went up and asked them, they wouldn't tell me the truth, people rarely do. It got easier to hear, because Tobias and Cassie gave up and just sat next to me in silence. I wanted their company, I just didn't care much for their words, to me, actions are worth more. This isn't my twisted way of saying that whatever Rachel said to me from now on wouldn't matter, even if she said she had been wrong in not helping or if she gives me a reason for that... I'm not saying that, I'm just saying that what we do is worth more than what we say, because words are easily manipulated and misused, and while some actions prove what you say, some will show the truth behind the words. 

Back at the building, I hadn't understood what happened, I wasn't even aware that the others hadn't left me behind until I heard Jake's thought speak saying that Rachel was closest to me. At the time, I wasn't expecting her to come, I wasn't expecting any of them to help me. I had heard Tobias say someone was coming, I was outside, in the corridor, there was no where to hide, so I got control of myself and walked down the stairs. I didn't see Tobias, he must have hidden. I bit my tongue when I passed the Controllers until I found a room and hid there. Then came the alarm, and the shouts and the shots. I was about to morph, when someone came in. I made up some excuse and started to leave, but they grabbed me outside... My mind screamed defeat, that's what scared me the most, the thought of being beaten, of being captured, of becoming a Controller again. Rachel could have helped me, but she didn't... did I hate her for that? We all make mistakes, we all do things we later on regret. Did she regret it? Could I hate her? Why hadn't she helped me? I knew she wasn't exactly fond of me, she didn't like me at all and I'm sure I could think of more than one reason. For starters, we hadn't gotten along from the start, then there was that night I sneaked away, and that brings me to Tobias, I knew she liked him, I don't really know if he's aware of that. 

If I let my anger take over, I would feel like killing her. I would say that all she had to have done to avoid all of this would have been to jump on at least one of the Controllers holding me, they didn't even have dracon beams with them at one point. That was the least she could have done, and still she didn't do it; she just stood there, watching them drag me away... But my anger was bottled up, for now at least. I know it would eventually show itself, and when that happened, I'd have to be careful who I lashed out at. My thoughts just kept going around in circles, avoiding the main question: Did I hate Rachel?

On the other side of the shack, Jake was saying something, and Marco was looking at me. I focused on his words, taking the chance to rid my mind of the vicious circle it had formed. Jake was whispering, but not so much that I wasn't able to hear the conversation. They didn't seem to think that I was listening to anything. With the corner of my eye, I could tell that Cassie was listening to him, and so was Tobias.

"... something like that happen again." - Jake finished saying, and looked at me as if to make sure I wasn't listening. He didn't sound angry, he sounded sad

"But Prince Jake, what do you suggest we do? We cannot abandon her." - Ax spoke, he was in his human form, guess they figured they would avoid freaking me out any further by making me stare at an andalite right after almost being captured

"Hey man! Hold it, don't even go there... I mean, Ax's right, she needs us." - Marco said, moving his gaze from me to Jake

"Jake, it was her first mission. Don't tell me you forgot what happened to me on ours..." - Tobias said softly, as if he would disturb me if he raised his voice

Jake shook his head - "That's not what I'm concerned about. I'm concerned about her, I don't want her to snap or anything like that"

I was about to say something, but Cassie beat me to it - "She's been through a lot this past week. I say we give her some time"

"Look guys, I know this sounds harsh, but she doesn't seem stable. That could be dangerous to us. Maybe we should..." - Jake didn't get a chance to finish, as much as I wanted to know what he was going to say, I was scared to find out

"Should what?" - I asked angrily

They all looked at me startled, Cassie jumped a bit, surprised. I was still staring forward, but my face was certainly not blank, and I was definitely not staring into nothing, I was staring right into Jake's eyes. He matched my stare, but didn't finish his phrase, as I knew he wouldn't. I calmed myself down and looked at each one of them, my voice as calm and confident as I could make it

"Look, I'm sorry about what happened, and I'm sorry if the way I'm acting disturbs you... but this is the way I am, I shut everything out sometimes..." - my face softened and the anger was gone - "... all I'm asking is for another chance to prove that I can be one of you, ok?"

Jake and the others nodded reluctantly. I could tell Jake was still worried, not just about me being able to handle it, but I guess he was thinking about Rachel, how things would be now that we were worse off than we were before... The others all said their good-byes and left one by one. Tobias looked at me while he demorphed

Do you want some company? - he offered kindly

I hesitated, unsure of what I really wanted - I'll try to get some rest... Could you... maybe stop by after your 'breakfast'? - I asked

Sure, see ya. - he flew off and I was alone again

I let my tired body almost drop itself on the blankets laid out on the floor, the ground beneath them reminding me of its presence with the impact. I laid there on my back staring at the roof. I knew the sun would be rising soon and as much as I didn't want to sleep, I knew I had to at least rest. So I closed my eyes and I tried to keep my thoughts from surfacing and returning to their unending circles, never reaching a conclusion. I was actually doing a pretty good job of it, counting the letters in names or singing some song in my head over and over again. I was feeling myself lose focus, drift away, no longer able to concentrate on anything, and I knew that I was falling asleep, either that or dying. I smiled at the sudden lack of seriousness that had invaded me. 

My mind was suddenly awakened as I heard footsteps moving around the shack. I slowly opened my eyes, preparing for the worst. My vision cleared and I saw Rachel just standing there. I rubbed my eyes and sat up, looking at her, neither of us said anything for a few minutes. She didn't look like she had gotten much sleep either, her face had a tired expression on it. Contrary to what anyone might think, my first instinct was not to jump at her throat and strangle her. I found myself just sitting there, waiting to hear why she had come to talk to me. She leaned on the improvised fence and started

"I made a mistake, I should have been the one to get to you first" - it was nothing more than a statement - "I can't say I did it completely on purpose, and early this evening, when I thought you had almost lost it, I did feel sorry..." - she paused, I knew there was something else - "But once again you've mislead us, you're not who you try to make us see you as. You don't deserve our trust, and you don't deserve to be one of us"

Her voice was steady and firm, she paused again to let the words sink in. I didn't say anything, I didn't think I had to. There was nothing I could have said at that time that would have made any difference. I felt she was waiting for my reaction, but I couldn't figure out what kind of reaction she was expecting. Did she expect me to get up, face her and say that I could get the job done just as well as any of them could? Or did she expect me to just become this villain and try to hurt her with mere words, throwing all her mistakes and sorrows in her face? Did she actually expect me to well up in tears just because she put into words what she had been implying from the very beginning? Whatever she was expecting of me, it certainly wasn't what I finally did, I could see it in her face, as her anger grew. I stood up right in front of her, looked her right in the eyes, not saying anything; I didn't budge and neither did she. I think she was expecting an attack, or maybe hoping for one, but I wouldn't give her the chance to throw something else in my face, literally. Finally, I sat down again, never turning away and opened my mouth to speak. My voice was calm, but not weak nor gentle. It carried within it, not hate, but slight provocation, as I tried to speak in the most civilized manner possible to someone who's face I really didn't want to look at. That was all the emotion I was willing to let out

"Fine, everyone is entitled to their opinion. You don't want me in, that's yours. You don't want to trust me, fine, don't. Just think twice before letting them put a slug in my brain, 'cause if I go down, so do you"

"Is that a threat?" 

"Not at all, it's merely the truth, you all know it. The same goes for any of you being captured, if any of you go down, so do the rest" - I amazed myself at how calm my voice sounded. Rachel was silent, she knew I was right. She turned to leave without saying anything else, but I spoke before she reached the door - "And as far as you not trusting me goes... the feeling is mutual"

I think I saw her begin to turn back, but she decided against it. I couldn't help but wonder if that last phrase had made her smile, knowing it would be easier to distrust someone who felt the same way. She left and a few moments later I heard the flapping of wings gaining distance. I thought about what it would be like, staying here, with my new 'friends'... could I call them that? My friends? That was a hard question to answer, in some cases more than others... In Rachel's case however, the answer was clear. She wasn't my friend, but she wasn't my enemy either. She was an ally, if not by choice, by circumstances, I don't think she would cause me deliberate harm, but she might hesitate in risking her life to save me. I would try to avoid situations like that, and it was clear she would try to make it so her life would never depend on me. If the roles were reversed, would I save her? Yes, I would, as much as my anger insisted otherwise, I knew the true answer. 

I looked out through the door and saw the first indication that the sun was going to come up. I got up and went outside, I wouldn't be able to sleep now anyway. I sat on a fallen log and watched the light dance across the sky as it obfuscated the last remaining stars, signaling the arrival of another day. I could hear the birds sing as they moved around the leaves on the tree tops. It was all beautiful, but I missed the concrete, the city, the lights... I missed seeing other people walking around the street, I missed television. I had this urge to walk down the streets, to go to the mall or just walk and see the streets and the buildings. For the first time, I realized I wanted my life back and as much as I knew it was next to impossible, I still wished for it. I wanted to be able to walk around without having to look over my shoulder or worry if two hours had gone by. Why did I always want what I couldn't have? Guess it's part of being human, but that's not much of a comfort, now is it?

I was so caught up in my own thoughts that I didn't hear the footsteps until they were right behind me. I was startled only until I saw the face, Tobias' face.

"There you are." - he said, tossing me a small package and sitting next to me - "Brought you some food." 

"Where did you get this?" - I asked, not really caring

He smiled - "Well, I went..."

"Never mind, thanks." - I smiled back, unwrapping the small improvised meal

He was silent, just staring ahead at our surroundings. I noticed the expression on his face, he looked worried. 

I tried to get him to talk - "It's beautiful here, isn't it?" 

He just nodded, looking at me for a moment 

"What's wrong? Are you ok?" - I asked

He looked away for a moment, then turned to face me, smiling. He said softly - "Am I ok? You scared us, I just... for a moment there we really thought you snapped."

I suddenly felt guilty for being so selfish. I had heard them talk to me, I hadn't answered because I didn't feel like talking to them, and that wasn't fair. He was right, I shouldn't have done it, I shouldn't have worried them. I could have simply told them that I didn't want to talk

"I'm sorry... I just didn't want to talk to anyone, you know? I just wanted to be alone." - I looked at him and added with a smile, after finishing the last of my 'breakfast' - "Thanks for saving me."

"You're welcome." - he said, returning my smile

"Would you do something for me?" - I asked carefully

He looked at me with a curious look on his face - "Sure, what?"

"Could we please get out of these woods, just for today... I want to take a walk on something solid... please?" - I asked with the most kind smile I could manage, and the result was he smiled back, even though I knew he was going to say no.

"I take back what I said before, you did snap" - he said smiling -"You've gotta be crazy to want to go into town with every Controller probably on the look out for you right now" - he paused seeing my disappointment - "Isn't there anything else you'd like to do? Maybe swim with sharks or jump off a plane with no parachute..."

"Ha ha, very funny, bird-boy. What are you trying to do, become Marco or something like that?" - I sighed in defeat - "Fine, since I can't go anywhere, I guess I might as well try and get on with something I've been meaning to do... " - I let out a yawn

"Did you get any sleep? You look tired" - he asked all of a sudden

"No, I didn't sleep, I don't think I can"

"Maybe you should rest"

"Make you a deal... we both get some much needed rest... frankly, you don't look so awake yourself... and you promise to take me out for... ice cream, haven't had ice cream in ages."

He answered reluctantly - "Hum... I don't know..." -he was talking like he knew I was out of my mind

"Please..."

"Ok, deal. You get some rest and I'll see what I can do about going into town." - he got up and gestured for me to go into the shack

We walked into the shack and I lay on the blankets still there as I saw feather patterns start forming on his skin. A few seconds later, a red-tailed hawk perched itself on a shelf and closed its eyes. I closed my eyes too and tried to find that delicate path towards sleep, one that seems to summon and yet elude you at the same time. I began to feel reality and dream mix into one, was I awake or dreaming? Were the faint voices I now heard the product of my own subconscious or was there someone there, watching me sleep? I pulled away from sleep towards reality and concentrated on the hardness of the ground below me, there were no voices. With that small comfort, I let myself drift away once more, and reality was only a distant memory. 

I was walking through the woods, everything was silent, nothing moved, nature seemed to stand still, holding its breath, waiting for something to happen. Far away, I could see a cave, I had seen it before as a child. I finally realized I was home, I was in my old town, in the woods that grew at the edge of the city, where there were no buildings and no houses. I heard voices, first speaking, whispering all around me, then one lone voice cried out to me, I recognized it right away, it was Sarah's voice. I knew it came from the cave even though I had heard it only in my head. I ran towards the cave, but the faster I tried to run, the slower I moved. As I got closer to the entrance, Sarah's voice became more and more desperate. She begged for my help, then she began to cry, whispering pleas that seemed to leave me silent. I was inside the cave, even if I had never actually reached the entrance. It was dark, and yet I could see clearly the figure of a girl, kneeled down on the floor, crying, her face hidden in her hands, her long hair falling over her shoulders. As if suddenly made aware of my presence, she snapped her head to look at me, her eyes bearing a terror I had never seen. She was no longer crying. There was nothing to indicate she had been, no tears, nothing. Her face was pale and streaked with blood and she had tired circles around her eyes. She gave me an evil smile and reached out a bloody hand to me

"Death agrees with me, doesn't it Liss?" - she asked

I turned to run, but there was no way out. I was trapped in the darkened cave. I started to scream, but Sarah quickly sprang to her feet and grabbed me. She held my mouth shut with one hand while holding my arm with the other. I could feel her hand smudge my face with blood as she silenced me. Her hands were so cold... I shivered as the tears began forming in my eyes. Her claws began to dig into my arm, I felt them penetrate my flesh. She looked at me, her eyes glowing like a feline's when light struck them at night, her face holding a dark and morbid expression that would have easily haunted me for the rest of my life had I ever seen it during her lifetime

"Be quiet, Alyssa. They're coming for you. You don't want them to get you"

I nodded more out of pure despair than out of agreement and she released me. She smiled and turned to leave, I tried to stop her, but my hands couldn't reach her and my feet seemed to be chained to the ground. I tried to wipe the blood of my face, but my hand wouldn't obey. Despair started to consume me, my fear growing as I realized what was happening, as I tried again and again to move, with no success. I couldn't even shed a tear, couldn't even let out a scream, couldn't even beg for help. But there was no one there to help me, I was alone in this cave, no way in and no way out. I would have let myself fall to the ground in tears, but it was no longer up to me, I no longer had control. I heard the evil search through my mind as I screamed and fought to no avail. The darkness surrounded me as I tried to escape my prison, the most perfect prison there could ever be, my own body. I heard it say my name as it mocked my life and watched my memories one at a time while all I could do was scream helplessly in the back of my mind, locked away...

I broke away from the arms that were holding me to the floor while I threw out punches and kicks aimlessly. I opened my eyes and as the nightmare dissipated itself, I saw a boy getting up from the floor, raising a hand to his stomach and slightly wincing 

"That is the last time I try to wake you up" - he said, forcing a smile

"Sorry, bad dream" - I said, wiping the sweat on my forehead

Jake sat down on one of the boxes and I looked around the shack, my mind still adjusting to the contrast between nightmare and reality. I looked towards the shelf, but Tobias wasn't there, I turned a puzzled look to Jake

"Where's T..."- I asked drowsily, he answered the question before I had a chance to finish it

"I asked him for some time alone with you. There's something I've gotta say." - he was serious, his smile was gone

"What is it?" - I asked, fearing the worst

But what would be the worst? I quickly analyzed the possibilities in my head. The one that seemed most likely was the one that followed Rachel's line of thought; that they didn't trust me, that I shouldn't be one of them, that I shouldn't be an Animorph. I don't know why, but that was the one that scared me the most. I looked at him, waiting for his words. He didn't seem to have them organized yet

"It's about this morning..." - he started slowly

I jumped in, suddenly fully awake - "I'm sorry if I got you guys worried... I realize I should have acted more normally, but sometimes I just shut everything out, to deal with stuff one at a time... I should have warned you guys so you wouldn't think there was anything wrong..." - he raised his hand and I stopped talking, noticing that I was rambling

"It's not that... I'm the one who wants to apologize to you"

"Why?" - I asked, genuinely surprised

He smiled at my confusion - "I said we would help you get away..."

'Oh no, here comes the talk about Rachel not helping me', I thought to myself. However, out loud I said - "And you did help me get out" - I quickly interrupted him, not willing to go any further on this particular topic. He understood

"Still... I'm sorry for underestimating you. I shouldn't have... You've been through a lot lately and handled it pretty well"

I was a bit confused, I was trying to understand what he was saying. Maybe I was having trouble because I was still dazed from my nightmare, or maybe I was still half-asleep, or maybe just because I was genuinely stupid! I looked at him, trying to hide a laugh at my untimely attempt at humor

"My brain isn't on full working capacity right now, so could you spell out what you're trying to say?"

He looked at me as if I were joking - "I'm saying I'm sorry for thinking you'd be a risk to us. I underestimated your ability to cope with a dangerous situation... I'll try not to do that again"

I waited a bit to see if he was finished. Apparently that was all he had to say. My mind was still in a jumble, I was tired after all. I asked him slowly

"So... that means I'm still in?" 

"Of course you are. Why would you think differently?" - he asked

"Nothing, just a thought" - I said casually

Even though he had no way of knowing about my talk with Rachel, I'm sure he had a pretty good guess of what I was thinking about. Things would be a little tense whenever me and Rachel were in the same room together, and its kindda hard to trust someone with your life when you know they'll hesitate in saving it. But maybe in time things would quiet down... then again maybe not. I couldn't help but realize how they each reacted differently to the way I behaved that morning. I could only guess what Rachel was really thinking, but I believed it to be somewhere along the lines of me pretending to be frail in an attempt to fool them as to the nature of my true personality... was I doing that and not noticing? No, I wasn't... I had always been the weak one... but maybe that was the problem, I always compared myself to her... Anyway, Tobias had been worried that I had lost it or something like that, and he seemed to understand or at least accept the way that I deal with these situations, he didn't get mad at me or anything... And Jake, he was actually apologizing for thinking that I could have gone crazy all of a sudden. I looked at my watch, it indicated the time to be 11:30. I hadn't slept as much as I should have, but then again, by the look on Jake's face, neither had he. I don't think any of my new 'friends' had slept very well ever since they got dragged into this war. Can't say I have...

Knock knock. You guys finished talking yet? - I heard Tobias ask out of nowhere

A red-tailed hawk flew in and landed on the 'fence'

"Oh, that reminds me... When can I go see the town?" - I asked just to annoy him

Jake looked at me - "No way. You can only go into the city morphed as something else, we can't take any chances of someone recognizing you"

"I know" - I said standing up and stretching my arms - "It's just that I've been here for more than a week now and I've only left the woods twice to go into the city; one to go flying and the other to go on a mission, this morning. I'm beginning to feel a bit trapped"

Jake seemed to consider my words for a moment, then he tossed a look to Tobias and turned to me with a sigh - "I guess we could go somewhere today..." - I smiled, he raised a hand - "... but we are going to take every precaution"

I mouthed them both a silent thank you, but inside, my mind kept wondering if I was making a mistake. Should I tempt fate? Should I let my feelings interfere with my better judgement? Too late, I had just let them... I knew it was dangerous, but I was going anyway... 

***

Cassie

It was a little past noon and I was doing my homework when I heard my father calling me. He opened the door

"Cassie, some friends of yours are here to see you. They said they'd wait at the barn"

"Hum, thanks, I'll be right there"

He nodded and left again, I didn't even bother with my books, I just left them where they were and went outside. My mother was out of town and dad stayed in the house, so I wasn't too careful when I opened the barn door. Alyssa was standing in a corner and Tobias was morphing to human behind a stall. Jake was calmly standing next to the door. They all looked at me and Alyssa smiled

"Hi Cassie"

"So, what's going on?" - I asked her, she was about to answer when Jake cut her off

"She wants to go to the mall or..." - he started saying as if it were unbelievable, but Alyssa cut him off

"I want ice cream" - she said as if _that_ made more sense or any sense at all. We all looked at her like she was crazy, she just smiled - "So I like ice cream"

"Aha! I knew you'd all be here" - Marco said, coming in

"How'd you know?" - Jake asked, genuinely curious

"I called your house and they said you'd be here, duh!" - Marco answered

"Ahem... could we get on with this?" - we all turned to face Alyssa, who was now standing in the middle of the barn, right in front of us

"Get on with what?" - I asked, beginning to be annoyed by the fact that I hadn't the faintest clue whatsoever about what they were doing

"I wanna go into town" - Alyssa said casually

I focused on how she was acting so cheerful around us. I didn't know her well enough to tell whether she was really loosening up around us, or if she was just trying to hide the fact that she was feeling sad by acting happy, some people do that. 

Anyway, Marco looked at her wide-eyed - "Ok, I thought you were worried about being recognized..."

"Well, ya. And as much fun as it's been to see you guys worry and get stressed about my saying I'm gonna go walking down the streets... I could just go morphed as someone else"

"Just for the record, I'm not volunteering" - Marco said very slowly while staring at Jake

Jake held in a grin - "And who are you going to morph?"

"Can't be one of us... if someone comes up to you on the streets, you won't know how to act" - I pointed out

"Well, I could do that 'mix up peoples DNA' thing" - Alyssa said not really paying attention to us

"You can do that?" - Tobias asked surprised

"Never even tried, I was just joking" - she said

"Oh, great joke. Ha ha, we're all laughing." - I saw Marco let out, she just laughed

"Be nice or I will acquire you, Marco" - she took a step forward but stopped

"Then how do you expect to go into town without being afraid of being recognized and not morphing any of us?" - I asked her

"We could try a wig and sunglasses" - Tobias said laughing

Soon we were all laughing, thinking up crazy ideas

"She could just grab a stranger in the street and acquire him" - Marco suggested

"We can't do that."- I said with a serious expression

"No kidding?" - Marco teased

"You know guys, this is fun and all, watching you try and come up with something, and fail" - she added under her breath - "... but I could just mix up your DNA's..."

"I thought you said you couldn't do that..." - Jake said

"I never said that... I said I never tried... Sarah tried it once, not only did she not get it right, dad caught her and he got really mad; so I didn't even think about thinking about it." - Alyssa said, looking deep in thought - "But how hard can it be?"

"Oh brother!" - Marco said under his breath

"Ok, who gets to be the first victim?" - Alyssa asked, looking around as she rubbed her hands together

Just as I expected, Jake took a step forward - "Make it quick"

She took his hand and closed her eyes for a moment, he did the same. They both looked mesmerized for a moment, just standing there. I had acquired animals many times, and I had seen the others do it too, but it was weird. Not as weird as morphing, but weird

"And then they begin to phase in and out as Wesley tries to rescue Dr. Crusher" - Marco teased. (AN- For those of you who don't watch STTNG, don't mind the attempt at a joke; for those who do, I'm referring to episode 'Remember me')

He was sitting on a hayloft watching the scene. Alyssa and Jake sortta snapped out of it and Alyssa laughed - "Next" 

She turned to Marco and he conveniently pretended he wasn't looking. She grinned and walked over to him, grabbing his hand as he grimaced but gave in. The same thing happened, they both closed their eyes as she acquired him. I kept wondering if it would work. I mean, we saw Ax do it, but we had never tried it. Maybe it could work... Alyssa released Marco's hand and he smiled a bit

Alyssa turned to me - "C'mon Cassie... it doesn't hurt."

I knew it didn't, but I felt a little weary about having someone acquire me. I reluctantly stepped forward and took her hand. I felt dazed as she began to acquire me, I was going into some sort of trance, that's the best I can do to describe it. She released my hand and looked around. 

"Since there is no one else for me to acquire, let me try it with just the three of you." 

She seemed to concentrate, focus for a moment, then she started morphing. The changes were slow, but she wasn't doing it on purpose, it was just happening that way. She got taller, she was changing, but she hadn't mixed up the DNA, she was morphing Jake. She stopped and reverted back to herself and blew a strand of brown hair that had fallen on her face, frustration mixing with disappointment

"Well that didn't go very well." - I let out almost automatically

"Gee, ya think?" - Marco teased

"Try again." - Tobias suggested

As Alyssa closed her eyes and started to concentrate again, Marco stood up and walked up to where Jake was standing

"I don't like this, dude. Shouldn't Ax be here?" - he asked while they both looked at Alyssa

She wasn't doing it right again, so she demorphed and tried again, and again, and again, and yet again, and one more time, and gave it yet another try, and another more, and another... I'm running out of different ways to describe it, but you get the picture. We were almost giving up when I saw Alyssa's hair get shorter and her skin darken a bit. She didn't become an exact copy of me, which I guess indicated that at least she had in some way succeeded. But she still looked like she could be my twin, meaning that it wasn't good enough. She tried one more time, promising us that this would be her last try as she began to morph. And as if there was someone out there trying to spite us by not letting her do it, and then suddenly realizing that the game would be over and we would give up; she got it right this last time. She got taller, but just a little bit, and her hair shrank to just above her shoulder, darker and half curled; her skin slightly darkened, looking like a strong tan. Her face was completely different, not even her mother would recognize her, and her eyes had changed too, they were no longer a light green, but instead they were a shade of blue, like Jake's. She smiled at us, trying to look herself over

"So, how do I look?" - she asked

Marco whistled and instead of Rachel's reaction of given him a poisonous look, Alyssa just rolled her eyes and half ignored him, concentrating on the rest of us. We looked her over, Jake looked at her face and nodded

"I don't think anyone will recognize you." - he said

"How long do you think you'll hold it?" - Tobias asked

"As long as nothing goes wrong, a couple of days, maybe weeks, might even get lucky and keep it a month or two. It all depends, but humans are always easier. I just hate the feeling of it... it's more than the animal instincts..." - she said as she began to demorph - "Let's see... how long does it take us to get to the mall?"

"Maybe we should go separately, the two of you as birds, so you don't have to be morphing and demorphing as soon as we get there, and we'll meet up with you there." - I suggested

"And every two hours we'll have to go someplace and demorph." - Tobias stated

"We can use the public bathrooms." - Alyssa said

"Oh, so that's what they're for." - Marco snapped his fingers, walking towards her

She looked at him for a moment as if she were about to spout something back, then seemed to decide it wasn't worth it and just turned to Jake - "C'mon, let's do it."

Marco looked at me and sighed - "So much for getting through the day without hearing that at least once."

"Let me go get some money and tell my father were I'm going." - I said, leaving the barn

I came back in a few minutes to find Tobias in his natural form as a red-tailed hawk, Alyssa looked at me

"All set?" - she asked

I nodded and she started to morph a red-tailed hawk. As soon as she was finished we went on our way, the two of them flew over, always maintaining a safe distance from each other. While Jake, Marco and I took a while longer to get there. Tobias and Alyssa must have landed and demorphed in an alley near one of the back entrances to the mall. Tobias obviously morphed human and Alyssa morphed the mix she got from us. We met with them outside and went in together. I could see Alyssa's eyes move around the place, trying to look at everything and everyone, but trying to hide it. She whispered to us, smiling

"You know, I can't remember the last time I came to a mall, or the last time I could just stop in front of a store and look." - she said laughing and stopping in front of a window

"Maybe the yeerk couldn't find anything in its size." - Marco said, restraining himself a little too late

We all knew this was sort off a touchy subject with her, so I expected her to go back into that shell she put on sometimes. I saw her turn to face Marco. Jake gave him a dirty look and Tobias looked at Alyssa expecting a reaction. I was about to try a change in the subject, when to my surprise, I heard Alyssa laugh. I mean, really laugh. We all looked at her as she stopped laughing and just smiled, coming close to Marco and whispering in a light tone 

"You know, I had never thought about it that way." - she turned to Jake - "Lead the way, oh fearless leader." - she stepped aside as to let Jake pass, and after we all got over how easily she seemed to be having fun, we just smiled and went along

We were sitting at a table, talking and laughing. It was nice to see Alyssa having fun, it was the first time I saw her have a good time without trying so hard. She had just thrown a balled up napkin in Marco's face, and since I had spaced out for a moment, I hadn't heard what Marco said, but knowing him, it wouldn't be so hard to guess. I felt a light tap on my left arm, it was Jake, he was smiling

"Earth to Cassie." - I heard Marco say from across the table

"What?" - I asked out of reflex

"Marco here was just suggesting that we should get up and leave and see how long it would take you to realize we were gone." - Alyssa said, bending her head a little over the table to toss a look at Marco. 

She was sitting right next to me on my right, Jake was on my left; Marco was on Jake's left and Tobias was on Marco's left, right next to Alyssa. I looked at Marco and laughed

"I'll remember that next time you ask me for a favor." - I said, also rolling up a napkin and throwing it at him

"What were you thinking about?" - Jake asked in a low voice

I was going to answer, when I saw Alyssa was the one who seemed to have just spaced out. Tobias flashed a hand in front of her face, it took her a moment, but she blinked and looked at him, then at us. She leaned in closer to the rest of us as if she were about to whisper, her mouth half opened and sound began to come out, 

"C..." - she stopped mid-way, but we continued to hear her voice Controller... over there... that guy's a Controller. 

We all snapped our heads around discreetly looking for the person she was talking about, but the place was full. Marco looked back at her, his voice a hurried whisper

"Could you be a little more specific than 'that guy over there'?" 

"Describe him, don't point." - Tobias added right after

"Let's try to be discreet, don't everybody turn and look at the same time." - Jake put in with a grin

"Duh." - was Marco's reaction

Eleven o'clock on my watch... The guy standing in the corner with the brown briefcase... - Alyssa said, looking at me and faking a smile 

"I see him." - Tobias whispered

Jake pretended to drop something and bent down to get it, tossing a look behind his shoulder - "Never seen him before, are you sure?" - he whispered to Alyssa. 

She nodded - Don't you think I'd know? I used to see him every time I went down to the yeerk pool. Maybe you guys haven't found the entrance we used. 

"Do you think that it's still there?" - I asked

"They probably closed it when Alyssa escaped..." - Jake started to say, but was cut off by Marco

"And do you think we could find a more crowded place to discuss this?" 

"You're right... let's go" - Jake said, starting to get up, we made motion to follow, but Alyssa gestured for us to wait

"We have to follow him... find out where the new entrance is, if there is one" - she said, not moving from her seat

We sat down again and Jake looked at his watch, - "You two have one hour left before you need to demorph. What do you guys want to do?"

"I say we go home" - Marco let out under his breath, half-expecting not to be taken seriously

"I think we should try to see where he's going, see if it's to the new entrance" - I suggested

"It would help us identify more Controllers" - Tobias said carefully

"Ok, we follow him and see where he's going. That's it, nothing more... we don't want a confront..." - Jake let out

"Don't worry man, Rachel's not here... just us..." - Marco started, only to be cut off by Alyssa

"He's moving. I'll follow him for a while, see if he's leaving the mall" - She got up as if she were mad and walked off before we could protest - This way people won't find it strange if we don't talk for the rest of the day and the Controller won't associate you guys with me. Don't come too close, he doesn't have to see your faces

"And I thought she'd be a calm one" - Marco said after she was out of hearing range

We saw the man make a turn and he was out of sight, Alyssa slowly following him, looking like she was window shopping. After a few moments, we got up and headed the same way. We made the turn and found Alyssa standing in front on a department store, reluctantly going in. She took a quick glance back and saw us, then went in the store

Can you guys still hear me? - she asked after a while - He's getting an ugly pair of pants, yuck, and going into the changing booths.

We can hear you. - Tobias told her 

"Maybe this is just a big waste of time, hopefully." - Marco said

Guys, something is weird... Get in here. - Alyssa's voice came

Jake pretended to see something interesting inside the shop and we all entered. Alyssa was standing near the entrance to the changing booths, pretending to look at a skirt. We stood where we were, while Marco and Jake pretended to discuss some tennis shoes on display

He went in the booth, I couldn't follow him... One of the boys has to go in and check something out. - I heard Alyssa say

At that, I pointed out a shirt to them and they pretended to like it. I took a look around the store, no one seemed to be paying us much attention

What's weird about him just wanting to try out a pair of pants? - Tobias asked

Nothing, if they looked like they would at least fit him... and besides, the store clerk gave him a different card, not one from the stack he was holding... and he's sure taking his time in there... - Alyssa said

Jake took the shirt and went up to the sales clerk Alyssa directed him to. He got a card from the pile in the salesclerk hand and was instructed into the area where the changing booths would be lined up. We waited for about ten minutes, then Alyssa started coming our way. She went right past us in case the store clerk was watching and stopped a bit at the door to look at her watch

Tobias, we should demorph. The others can wait for Jake. - she went on her way even before finishing the sentence

Tobias looked at us - "Ok, anything goes wrong, you two don't try to handle it by yourselves, right? You'll wait for me and Alyssa?"

"Sure, why not? I'm not particularly fond of pulling any reckless stunts, specially when I'm in small numbers" - Marco said with a grin

Tobias walked out of the store in a normal pace but I knew he wasn't going to waste any time. We waited there for about five minutes, then Tobias came back, no sign of Alyssa

"Where's Alyssa?" - Marco asked, wondering the same thing I was

"She's outside. Where's Jake?" - Tobias asked

"Still in there. Think he's in trouble?" - I wondered out loud

"From what? Bad fashion sense?" - I heard an all too familiar voice say

"Rachel, what are you doing here?" - I asked the girl now standing next to me

"Just thought I'd do some shopping... What are you guys doing here and what's up with Jake?" - she asked, suddenly lowering her voice as if expecting the kind of answer we were going to give her

We were about to explain the whole thing to her, when we saw the Controller walk out and turn over to the salesclerk the pair of pants like Alyssa had said. We pretended we weren't looking when he passed us on his way out the store. A few moments later Jake came out and casually walked towards us. He noticed Rachel and greeted her in a silent way, then said to us in a low voice

"Let's get out of here, I found something. We gotta go somewhere we can talk" - he said it while walking us towards the exit

We went outside and Alyssa was standing in front of a store, apparently 'window shopping'. Tobias told her to meet us outside and we continued to head to the mall's entrance/exit. Rachel kept giving us an inquiring look, but she didn't ask anything out loud, she didn't have to, she had a pretty good idea what the conversation would be about. She looked around, several times, looking for Alyssa, but not finding her. We got to the alley and Alyssa was already there in her own form waiting for us

"So, did you find anything?" - she asked, apparently hoping he'd say yes, but wanting him to say no

"We can't exactly hang around in an alley, you know" - Marco pointed out

Jake nodded - "Ok, we meet at Cassie's in..." - he looked at his watch - "... three hours, that should be enough time for us to get home then head over"

We agreed and parted ways, Tobias and Alyssa went towards the woods, they'd go get Ax; Marco and Jake walked off together and I was left with Rachel to explain the whole situation to her.

***

Laura

I rubbed my eyes and looked at the watch, I had to be going. I had already failed to get there yesterday, nothing was going to be able to stop me from getting there today. I picked up my keys and said goodbye to my husband. I smiled as he hugged me walking with me to the door. 

"Do you have to go today?" - he asked, a little bit annoyed

"Yes, I do. I already missed yesterday's meeting. I couldn't go because of the rain and the road blocks, remember? I've gotta go today." - I couldn't have said anything more truthful if I tried. 

"What time will you be back?" - he asked with a long sigh

"About ten... sure you don't want to come with me today?" - I asked as I always did

"No, I said I was going to help Carson with his project." 

"Fine, then, maybe next time." - I said smiling while in my mind the words echoed, 'maybe next time'. 

I grabbed my bag, walked out the front door and got into my car. I drove for at least ten minutes when suddenly someone walked onto the street in front of the car, a child. I hit the breaks as fast as I could; the car turned abruptly and stopped. Good thing I was driving slow. I got out of the car and raced to where the little girl was standing petrified. I kneeled down next to her and made sure she wasn't hurt, physically at least. She held in her hands a teddy bear, her blonde hair was braided delicately to the side, her icy blue eyes started to swim in tears. She started to cry 

"Are you alright? Where did you come from?" - I asked her 

She seemed to look past me for a moment, then she tried to smile. I looked around, there was no one near, these parts of the streets were empty. I had to go, I was late, but I couldn't very well leave her there; I started taking her off the streets. She looked behind me for a moment, and slowly raised her finger to point at something.

"Don't turn around now." - she whispered

I thought she was joking, I almost laughed. I turned to look at what it was, but all I heard was a loud noise and then I felt and saw nothing more...

****

Continued in 

Crossing Paths #3

**__**

So... like it? Hate it? Send me your comments at: [selina_293@yahoo.com][1]**_ I love getting e-mails; praises, insults, suggestions, opinions, wild guesses... anything really, except bombs or computer viruses, already got enough of those here... _**

   [1]: mailto:selina_293@yahoo.com



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